


All of you

by BelowTheSurface



Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-26 05:40:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4992424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelowTheSurface/pseuds/BelowTheSurface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sanji is a failure with women (no surprise there) so his friends take matters into their own hands and will help him get the perfect woman for him, Operation Get Some (name courtesy of Franky) is on the move. Zoro is not sure how he feels about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Don't own One Piece**

Sanji was walking back to his room at the campus. He came back from a pretty awful date…no surprise there. Sanji can’t figure out what he did wrong, he had everything planned out, first, he would invite his angel to a lovely restaurant with an amazing view, then he would order champagne, then, while eating, he would tell her how he feels about her and ask her to be his girlfriend and then will finish dinner with an amazing gift, making her fall for him and live happily ever after.

The plan was perfect, he had many bad dates before and he took note of every mistake he made, more like his dates pointing it out, and he made sure to never make them again but even so…he got rejected…and pretty bad. Oh, god, he keeps replaying the whole dinner over and over again.

_-FLASHBACK-_

“It’s really beautiful in here, Sanji.”

“Only the best for you, my love.” Sanji replied with hearts in his eyes.

Nami truly hates the way Sanji acts with her or any other woman for that matter…but didn’t say anything.

“Soo, everything went smoothly with the trade?” Sanji asked, trying to make conversation.

“Yeah, he gave me more with a little more…persuasion…”

“You are so clever, Nami-swan!”

“Yeah, yeah…can we order now? I’m hungry…”

“Sure!”

They were eating now and Sanji was getting more and more nervous, but phase three was in progress.

“Uuuh, Nami-swan, are you enjoying the food?”

Nami replied without looking at him. “It’s ok…”

_‘Ok, this is it, do it!’_

“I’m glad, my love. I actually brought you here for a purpose. I have someth-”

“Sanji, before you say anything, I only came here because you insisted on it for weeks, but remember this is  _not_  a date, ok? Let’s just…finish dinner and get back, it’s getting late…”

Just when Sanji was about to reply, he heard someone chuckle. He turned around finding two beautiful women, not as beautiful as Nami though, giggling at him not too far from their table…

Sanji turned back around, his face all red. This is  _not_  how he planned everything, but he can still make things right.

“Uh…my angel…”

“Also, Sanji…”

_‘God...now what?’_

“Stop it with the nicknames, ok? It’s really uncomfortable, no more Nami-swan, my angel, my love, my goddess, mellorine…it’s really embarrassing…”

Sanji could hear the two women behind him laughing by now, saying something like ‘poor devil’ among other things…

Sanji had his gift held securely in his right hand below the table, he wanted this moment to be unforgettable, but not like this. Tonight was pretty much a failure…so, yeah, let’s call it a night.

“Y-Yes…Nami.” Sanji whispered, taking his fork to finish his dinner…after all he can’t waste food.

_-END OF FLASHBACK-_

What is he doing wrong? As far as he knows, girls love when a man pays for dinner, gives them gifts, spoils them, protects them…he has done all of those things for Nami. After all, she is his princess but she is not interested. And she is not the first, no woman likes him…they always ran away from him, why is that? Well, it could be a lot of things; his physique, his personality…or him…perhaps he is not meant to be with anybody…just a lone wolf.

Sanji arrived at his room, just when he was about to open the door, he spotted the sock hanging from the door knob.

Great, just great…his asshole roommate is getting laid…again. Sanji sighed, knowing he would be out for a long time, he decided to go to his favorite spot.

Sanji arrived at the rooftop of the building, this place is his and his only, only he has the keys, being friendly with the janitor guy has some rewards.

It’s a lovely night, full of stars. This was the only place where he felt content, calm, where no woman can hurt his feelings or use him for her benefit. He was not naïve, of course he knew women liked to use him, but he thought that perhaps with time, they would love him for him, but he has been proven wrong.

Women are truly an enigma, he would give everything to them, everything…but they would rather be with the bad boy kind of guy…like his childhood friend, his roommate. For God’s sake, he can’t even remember their name the next morning, but they just keep coming back, they are the ones who call all the time looking for him, not the other way around, they are the ones bringing him gifts, inviting him to dates, paying for dinner…and he doesn’t even care! True, Sanji can see why women like him, he is well, what many would describe as…attractive. He is big, strong, he is in the kendo club, the best at it for that matter, mysterious, badass…well, in every girl’s dreams, apparently, but…he is also an asshole, sometimes, an idiot who gets lost all the time, a bad listener, carefree…but it seems looks wins over personality.

Without him noticing, he fell asleep there.

**_The next morning…_ **

The sun’s rays made Sanji rouse. He stood up with difficulty. Having slept on the floor all night is killing his back. He headed to his room, hopefully his roommate got rid of his one night stand by now.

Sanji arrived just in time to witness his roommate saying goodbye to his lady friend and God, is she gorgeous.

“Soo…you’ll call me, right?” the poor girl asked with hope in her voice.

“Sure, I have your number, don’t I?”

“Yeah, it’s on the table, so don’t forget…call me soon, bye!”

_‘Oh, how naïve can that girl be; but then again so am I, so I have no room to talk.’_

Sanji’s roommate turned to look at him.

“Wow, seems like someone also got lucky yesterday…you look like shit, shit-cook.”

“Shut up, you asshole, I look like shit because someone left me out of my room to fuck another innocent girl…”

“Hey, don’t be mad at me, we both set that rule, it’s not my fault you can never get any.”

_‘Bastard…but he’s right, it’s not his fault.’_

Sanji got inside without saying another word, he will not talk to this idiot. Unfortunately, his roommate had something else in mind.

“So, how was your date with…with…what was her name again?”

“Nami. Well…not bad.”  _‘A catastrophe.’_

“When you say ‘not bad’, did you actually mean really bad?”

“Well…we both decided to stay friends, it’s for the best.”

“When you say ‘both’ did you actually mean…”

“Oh, for God’s sake, yes, yes, she,  _she_  decided for us to stay friends,  _she_  doesn’t like me that way,  _she_  thinks I’m annoying…!”  _‘Fucking asshole it’s like he enjoys watching me suffer.’_

“Oh…”

 _‘Oh, Oh? That’s all he has to say?’_ “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to shower and get ready for my class…”

Sanji entered the bathroom and was about to close the door when…

“Hey, cook!”

“What, Marimo?”

“Can you bring me some onigiri like last time? They were really good…”

“Yeah…sure.” Sanji closed the door and began stripping when again…

“Cook…” his roommate called from the other side.

“Hmm?”

“You know, Mihawk showed us a really amazing move, we can kill anyone without leaving a trace, we just need to hit the right spot and said person would collapse immediately, it would be a silent kill…”

“I don’t want her dead, Marimo, are you crazy? Moreover, if we kill all the women who have rejected me so far, the campus would be without a female population in less than a month.”

Sanji heard his roommate chuckle.

“But…I appreciate the thought…thanks, Zoro.”

“Sure, Sanji.”

**_Later on…_ **

_‘My back is killing me. I should really look for a place to sleep when Marimo has company.’_

“Sanji!”

Sanji looked up to find two of his best friends, his hyperactive friend Luffy and his liar/storyteller friend Usopp.

“Hi, Luffy! Usopp!”

“Hello, Sanji, what are we making today?” Usopp asked.

“Well, today we are making a soufflé…”

“Looks yummy!” Luffy exclaimed.

“It really is, Luffy.”

“So, Sanji, how was your date last night?”

He really should stop telling every one of his friends about his “dates”.

“Not bad, but it’s not going to work.”

“What, why not? You’re crazy about this girl…”

“Yeah, well…it seems to be one-sided.”

“Oh, sorry, Sanji.”

“Yeah, don’t worry Sanji, you will find someone better. Besides, who needs girls when we have each other?”

“Luffy! Don’t say something like that aloud, someone might take it the wrong way!” Usopp said looking around.

“Why?! It’s true! What can a woman give to you guys that I can’t?!” Luffy yelled.

Everyone was now looking at the trio.

“Hey, you two, get the fuck out of my class!” the teacher yelled.

“Sorry, guys, you must go, I will bring you food later.”

“Sure, thanks.” Usopp said.

“Bye!” Luffy yelled.

“Eggplant, you know damn well no one is allowed in here besides the teacher and the cooking students.”

Some of said students laughed at the nickname given to Sanji. Zeff was his adoptive father and also his teacher for this cooking class, but the old man can be irritating.

“I know, old geezer! No need to remind me!”

“Old geezer?! Let me show you what this ‘old geezer’ can do!”

And so the fight begins.

**_Back at the dorm…_ **

Zoro was sleeping in their room, today he has no classes, perfect opportunity to sleep all day while waiting for Sanji and the guys to come back with food, perfect until he heard a knock on the door.

“Shit.” Zoro is angry. Who would dare disturb his sleep?

“Yeah?” Zoro opened the door to find a woman with red hair. Did he ask this woman out? Did he sleep with her? He can’t remember…

“I-Is Sanji here?” Nami asked, her face all red.   _‘He’s cute.’_

“No, he’s not, what do you want?”

“Oh, sorry…and you are…?”

“Zoro, his roommate.”

“Ah, Zoro, my name is Nami, I need to speak to him. Do you know where can I find him?”

“‘Nami’ as in the Nami who was total a bitch to him?”

“Did he say that?!” Nami was mortified, moreover because well…she knows it’s true.

“Tch! Like he could say something bad about his precious ladies…”

“Look, you don’t know me, so you shouldn’t-”

“Whatever, that idiot isn’t here, and I won’t tell you where he is…I don’t like you, so I will say this once, stay away from him. He is my best friend and you are not right for him, ok, pumpkin?”

“Pumpkin?!” Nami yelled. This guy could be hot but he is an asshole.

“Will that be all? Yeah? Ok, bye.” Zoro slammed the door in her face. Nami stood still a few good minutes outside, petrified and then walked away furiously.

“Tch!”Zoro jumped on his bed, face up. That was Nami? Sanji really knew how to pick them. No…that woman is not good for the cook. He looked really down this morning thanks to that witch. Well, not only this morning, every time he goes to a date; he goes out happy and comes back sad. He hates to see him like that, but what could he do?

**_Back in the cooking class…_ **

“Eggplant, your soufflé tastes like shit!”

“Shut up, old man, it’s perfect and you know it!”

“How are you going to help me with the restaurant, if you have no taste?!”

The class ended a long time ago but Sanji likes staying for a while with his old man, as exasperating as he is.

“So, anyone special in your life?”

“No…”

“Sanji, when are you going to bring a lovely girl for us to meet? Are you even dating?”

“I am old geezer, I went out with someone yesterday…”

“And?”

“…”

“Soon, eggplant, soon you will find someone stupid enough to stay with you.”

“Fuck you, you shitty old man!”

“You little-”

“Sanjiii! Are you ready?! I’m hungry!”

Both Zeff and Sanji turned to look at Luffy waving and Usopp hiding behind him, scared.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.” Sanji took the soufflé, the onigiri and some snacks for his friends.

“Eggplant…”

“Yeah?”

“You will come on Friday, right?”

“Of course, old geezer, it’s your birthday, isn’t it? Don’t know how much time you have left, who knows, perhaps this could be your last one.”

“I am so going to kill you, boy!”

**_Back at the dorms…_ **

Zoro heard a knock on the door.  _‘I swear to God, if that fucking red head chick came back, I am going to use my swords to cut her up and throw her remains in a river.’_  Zoro opened the door.

“Hi, Zoro!”

 _‘Oh, thank God…’_ “Hi, Luffy, Usopp and…cook? Why are you knocking? Where is your key?”

“I lost it.” Sanji said. _‘Perhaps I lost it on the rooftop.’_

“You really are a mess…”

“Shut up, Marimo or no onigiri for you!”

“You made some?”

“Yeah” Sanji almost laughed looking at Zoro’s face. He looked so happy. It makes him happy to know his best friend still enjoys his food as much as the first time.

Everyone was eating. Well, more like Luffy was inhaling the food while they were talking about random stuff, and somehow Sanji’s romantic life became the main topic now.

“Aha, ha, and how about the time that crazy chick asked him to wear a chicken suit for her then she broke up with him and kicked him out and we found him at the bus stop with that freakin’ suit!”

“Yeah, yeah, enough, this is  _my life_  we’re talking about!”

“Oh, come on, cook. You had to admit you always go for the crazy ones.” Said Zoro.

“Me? How about you and that crazy gothic chick who stalked you for months and made some voodoo shit with some hair of yours she found in the bathroom.”

“You guys are so funny!” Luffy said, laughing.

Another knock at the door.

“It’s open!”

Ace, Marco, Franky and Law came in. Seems like all the gang is there, well except for Chopper who is studying for a big test tomorrow.

“Hi guys!” Ace greeted.

“What is so funny?” Marco asked.

“My whole existence, apparently…” Sanji said, sulking.

**_A few hours later…_ **

It was getting late and almost all of them were either a little high or tipsy.

“Seriously, Sanji, I know we make fun of you and all, but it sucks, I really thought that Nami girl would be the one for you…” Franky said.

“Oh, come on! She was not!” Zoro said. “She looked like the classic gold-digger type.”

“Don’t talk about her like that, Marimo!” Sanji yelled.

“See?! This is exactly the shit we’re talking about! The reason why those girls left you is because you’re like a puppy following them all around, doing everything they want, that shit is not sexy!”

“You’re so whipped, bro, that it isn’t even funny.”

“Oh, oh, ok, so you’re all telling me I should be more like all of you? That I should treat them bad, show indifference?” Sanji asked.

“Exactly!” everyone said all at the same time.

“You guys are full of shit.” Sanji said.

“Perhaps, but we’re the ‘full of shit’ guys who get laid…”

Well, Sanji can’t retort to that, he can’t exactly prove them wrong when he is the one always getting rejected. He still believes that women should be treated with respect, no matter what but did that ever work for him?

“You want to get laid? This is what you need to have-” Law said.

“You guys don’t get it, it’s not just about getting laid, I…I want someone I can share my thoughts, dreams and goals with. Someone I can rely on when I’m down and eventually someone I can build a life with…” Sanji interrupted.

“….”

“Dude, that sounded a little gay…” Ace said.

“You know what they say, ‘it takes one to know one’!” Marco teased.

“Guys, guys, let’s get serious…look, Sanji, first, let us find you a nice girl and we move from there, ok?”

Sanji nodded his head.

“Ok. Now, before I got interrupted, I was saying that this is what you need to find a woman, first, looks…”

“Ok, so, what is wrong with the way I look?” Sanji asked.

“Besides your stupid eyebrows…everything.” Zoro said.

“Shut up, Mosshead! You wanna fight?!” Sanji yelled.

“Zoro! I said get serious!” Law yelled.

“I  _am_  serious!”

“Aaarrrgh, that’s it! The next person that says something senseless will wake up without a kidney…” Threatened Law to his idiotic friends.

Everyone got quiet.

“Now…well, nothing is wrong with your physique, but you can definitely improve it…”

“Like how…?”

“Well, the way you dress…it’s weird and what’s up with those fake gigantic glasses? Women like a man with nice clothes, not one that looks like a hobo…”

“It’s called fashion sense…” Sanji whispered sadly.

“Also your beard…seriously bro, I can’t even remember your face with that shit covering half of it!”

“What’s wrong with my beard? It proves I’m manly…”

“You look like that guy from Duck Dynasty!”

“It’s not that bad, don’t over exaggerate.” Defended Franky. “But it needs to go…”

“Ok, ok, what we’re trying to say is that with the perfect clothes and a nice clean shave, you could catch the eyes of many woman. Now, second…attitude. Stop that ‘I’ll be your slave’ approach, that’s why women take advantage of you, you need to be confident, you know? Take the wheels, show them who’s in charge.”

Sanji just nodded his head.  _‘I guess I can do that.’_

“And last, but not least, personality…show them some interest, but not too much, they like the mysterious kind of guy. We’ll help you along the way, so don’t worry…”

“Ok, so, when should we start ‘ _Operation Get Some’_?”

“‘Get some’…really, Franky?”

“Tomorrow, maybe?” Ace asked.

Everyone nodded, tomorrow was fine for all of them except for Sanji, who was clearly starting to have doubts.

“Sanji, trust us, ok? We’re your friends and we will help you with this, but you must do _everything_  we say, ok?”

“Yeah, ok.” Sanji said.

“All set! So, guys, get some sleep and arrive at 0900 hours here, ok?”

“Yeah!” everyone cheered.

“Sanji, more food, please!” Luffy whined.

“God dammit, Luffy, you ate everything while we were talking?!”

**_Later on…_ **

Everyone went to their own respective rooms. Sanji was brushing his teeth.

He wanted the help, hell, he  _needed_  the help, but…pretending to be someone he is not…could he do that?

“Something on your mind? What is it?” Zoro asked.

“Nothing, just nervous…”

“Don’t be, you’re in hands of experts, so don’t worry.”

“Thank God you’re humble…”

“I’m serious, you’ll get your ‘other half’ in no time…”

“Yeah…”

“Night, cook, we have a lot of shit to do tomorrow, who knows how long it will take to make you look half normal…”

“Asshole.”

“Bastard.”

“Mosshead.”

“Shit-cook.”

“Shitty Swordsman.”

“Love ya.”

“What?!”

“Haha, sleep well, cook.” Zoro headed to bed and tried to fall sleep. For some reason, he wasn’t sure about this plan. A girl or anyone should like Sanji for who he truly is, like he does, but Sanji really wants to be with someone and seems to be ok with this plan, so who is he to stop him…and he really, really wanted to see him happy.

Proofread and edited by Coco42


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Don't own One Piece**

Hello, everyone! Yes, it has been a long, long time. But I am updating all of my fics now that I have time.

I also updated the first chapter due to some mistakes.

Now, without wasting any more time, let’s see how Sanji will survive his “good intentioned” friends and their awful plan…

“….”

“Hurry up, Sanji! Guys, he’s taking too long in there!”

“For God’s sake, Luffy! Stop yelling, we’re next to you, we can hear you just fine!” Ace said harshly. He was going to have a headache, thanks to his hyperactive brother.

“I can’t help it, this is so much fun!”

“I am glad my lack of luck with the ladies amuses you, Luffy…” Sanji said from behind the dresser.

“Stop whining, once we’re done with you, your luck will definitely change…I can bet on it!”

Sanji wished he could have Ace’s confidence but he knew better. “Whatever. Who the hell picked out this outfit!?”  _‘Must be Franky’s or a joke…’_

“Sanji-ya come out so we can see…” Law said with an amused expression.

With a little hesitation, Sanji came out wearing the most disturbing and horrible outfit ever. With the neon colors, he could be seen in the middle of the forest if he ever gets lost.

Silence…and more silence. Sanji was getting uneasy, so he tried to break the silence…

“What do you guys th-”

There was a sputter before everyone burst into laughter.

Laughing…all of them are fucking laughing, except for Franky, who as Sanji predicted before, picked out this outfit.

“You look super, Sanji-bro! Don’t listen to them.” Franky said glaring at them.

“Super!? Franky, just look at him! With that Hawaiian shirt and those neon green pants he looks like something Dr. Seuss would throw up.”

“You’re one to talk Zoro-bro with your hair and all.”

Bursts of laughter could be heard again.

“Hey! You want my foot up your ass!? And what the hell are you laughing about, puffy-hat?”

“What’s wrong with my hat?” Law looked at Zoro with a serious expression.

“What’s _not_ wrong with it?” Ace responded instead.

“Enough, enough!” Marco yelled. “We’re here to help Sanji, not make fun of him. Now…those in favor raise your hand.”

Only Franky raised it of course.

“Ok…so, that’s a no…next outfit!” Marco said, as Franky pouted.

It went over like that for a while; more outfits, more yelling, insults, fights, laughs…

Sanji wanted to flee and never look back. He knew his friends were trying to help him but with the way this was going…they will only make things worse. Now, he found himself trying on awful clothing at the mall and being embarrassed in public.

Yes, he was pissed, hours and hours of trying on clothes and not a single t-shirt or any pants were bought.  _‘This is useless…maybe I should buy lots of cats and live happily with them…’_

“What is taking you so long, curly?”

“Shut up, Marimo!”  _‘Jeez, what have I done to deserve this? Is it too much to ask for a bit of luck with women without going through this hell?’_

“Sanji?!”

“I’m coming!” _‘Those motherfuc- wait, is that a woman’s voice I’m hearing?’_

“Hey, shitheads! Are we alone?”

“Why, yes, Sanji. Why do you ask?”

“Are you sure?” He could swear he heard a woman.

“Don’t you trust us?” Marco asked. Out of all of them, Marco was someone he could trust, after all he is the oldest and more mature of them, but something seems fishy.

“Ok…” Sanji stepped outside. A few seconds later, all of them were laughing at him again. This was getting old, fucking assholes, good for nothi-

“Oh, my, I can see what you guys were talking about…”

Sanji turned his head to his right and there, sitting on a chair, was a beautiful dark haired woman, she seems a bit older than him but not less beautiful…and here he was, dressed in a ridiculous outfit, making a fool of himself.

“W-Who-”

“Sorry, Sanji-bro…this is Robin Nico, she is a super friend of mine, she came to greet us and well, we kinda told her about you and your situation…”

“What?!”  _‘Kill me now…’_

Robin took a few steps closer to Sanji, inspecting him from head to toe, going in circles around him. Sanji felt uneasy.

“If I may, perhaps I can be of your assistance?”

“What the hell could you possibly know abo-”

“Zoro-bro, Robin-sis is studying fashion design…”

“Here we’re helping Sanji with a makeover and you have a friend who is a fashion designer and you never thought of asking for her help?” Law accused.

“Like I would let her get close to you, you perverts! Who knows what you might do to her!”

“Franky, you’re the worst of all of us!” they yelled in unison.

“If you’re done talking about me in front of me…” Robin captured their attention. “Yes, I can actually help your friend…”

“Awesome! So, what should we do next?” Ace asked.

It seems Sanji has no say in the matter.

“Actually…it’s best if you all leave it to me, you would all only get in the way…”

They all stared at her; even Sanji, and then Marco spoke up. “Are you sure? I mean…”

“I’m sure…but before you go…I need money for clothes, the stylist and a few extras things.”

“Hey, hey, I never agreed to give money! Cook, sorry, but you’re gonna remain a virgin for a loooonnnggg-” Zoro started.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!”  _‘Not in front of the lady!’_

“Oh, what a shame and here I thought you all wanted to help with your friend’s happiness…”

Great way to make them feel guilty. One by one, they all gave Robin cash, leaving some of them with a few bucks in their wallet.

“Fucking woman, I want to see an improvement, if not…” Zoro threated her, after all, they all were giving her a lot of money. “…and you!” Zoro pointed at Sanji. “I want a ‘thank you’ dinner for this, you heard me?”

Sanji nodded. “Yeah, yeah, mosshead…”

Everyone seems to be ok with that. They will leave Sanji in Robin’s hands and will wait for him in Franky’s room.

Sanji watched their retreating forms, leaving them alone…alone? Oh, fuck! He is alone! With a woman! A beautiful woman! He should introduce himself properly. “N-Nice to meet you, my love. I am-”

“Sanji…right?” She asked as she looked him in the eye.

Sanji nodded.  _‘Oh! What amazing eyes she has…’_

“Don’t worry, I promise I will help you. Now, should we start?”

Sanji nodded again, not trusting his voice.  _‘Oh, what a magnificent angel! I love you!’_

“Ok, let’s see…let’s first start with your hair, perhaps something shorter and a bit messy…and the beard has to go…then we could-”

Sanji had the feeling that she was talking more to herself than to him…so, he just followed her instead, trusting her judgment. After all…who better to make him look good for a woman than another woman? Right?

**_A few hours later…_ **

“No way in hell!” Sanji yelled.

He took back everything he said about trusting this woman. No way in hell, he was going to let that fucking…creature near him!

“Sanji, Miss Ivankov is one of the highest more recognized stylists in the industry, we’re lucky she even had time to help us…”

“ _She_? You’re calling that a _she_?!” the blond man yelled. Fuck this shit, he’s going home. No way, no fucking way he was going near that lady…dude…whatever she/he was!

“Oh! What a meanie…here I am trying to help you get a lovely lady like myself and…”

“LIKE YOURSELF?!”

“Sanji, please…” Robin begged him this time, looking straight at him pleading, faking of course, for him to agree.

Sanji looked at her, how he could say “no” to such a lovely creature like herself? He was going to regret this but…you should never go against a woman’s wish!

“O-Ok, Robin…just for you.”

“I’m glad, Sanji.” Robin smiled. “Ivankov…”

“Ok! Right this way, sugar! I’m going to make you look handsome…”

Sanji followed the colorful transvestite inside as Robin took a magazine and a sat outside to wait for him.

**_Later on…_ **

Robin checked the time again. It has been an hour since Sanji went inside with Ivankov. What could possibly be taking this long? Sure, Sanji needed a lot of work but nothing that serious. Just when she was about to take another magazine, she heard a high pitched scream.

“Kyaaaa!”

“Get the fuck away from me, you freak!”

Followed by more yells.

“Candy-boy, who would have thought! You surely are…”

“Shut up, shut up, I don’t want to hear it coming from you!”

“~~Honey, please come back~~~”

“If you don’t shut up, I am going to shove it up your ass!”

“~~Naughty boy~~” Ivankov replied teasingly.

“Wha-no, that’s not what I meant!”

“Oh, hoh, look at you, all flustered…just for me.”

“I am going to kill you…”

Robin chuckled. Those two seemed to get along well. The door slammed open, Robin heard footsteps coming her way and she stood up, waiting for Sanji and Ivankov to make an appearance.

Ivankov was the first one to show up. She/he looked at her and winked.

No sign of Sanji yet.

“Candy-boy, don’t be shy, come out.”

Robin watched Sanji approach them slowly. Robin couldn’t believe her eyes. This can’t be the Sanji she met a few hours ago. Sanji has no beard now, just some hair on his chin; making him look younger, his hair now looks soft and shiny a bit messy-like but stylish. He looked well…handsome and it seemed that Ivankov took Sanji’s glasses away, she didn’t notice the color of his eyes before, a deep unique blue.

“You always exceed my expectations, Ms. Ivankov.” the dark haired woman complimented.

“I know right! He looks yummy!”

“Quit it with that disgusting behavior in front of the lady!”

“Ooooh, but if we were to be alone…”

Sanji growled, he couldn’t stand this motherfucker!

“Thanks for your help again.” They needed to hurry, after all, Sanji still needed new clothes, some cologne, shoes…

“No problem, Miss Nico, and candy boy, you can come back anytime you want…”

“Like hell…” Sanji murmured. He had enough.

Sanji walked next to Robin, he looked back to find Ivankov waving good bye at him while blowing kisses, so he grabbed Robin by her wrist and they quickly left.

**_Later on…_ **

After having bought new clothes, accessories, shoes, cologne and more, they finally took a break to eat and thanks to Sanji’s oh, so generous friends, they were able to eat at a nice place instead of fast food, something Sanji was grateful for.

Once done, they both headed back to the university; after all, it has been a long day.

Thank God tomorrow is Friday. Ohhhhhh, shit, _Friday_?! He totally forgot the old man’s birthday gift! Well, he still has some time tomorrow, perhaps the marimo could help him…

Sanji stared at the woman next to him.  _‘She really is beautiful…Franky, you lucky bastard.’_  “Thank you, my darling, for the help…”

“No need to thank me, after all, that’s what I am good at…”

“You definitely are the best!”

Robin giggled. “You’re so sweet, Mr. Cook.”

_‘Yeah, no shit, that’s the problem…’_

“I hope that your friends approve of my choices, otherwise your friend will carry through with his threat…”

“Tch! Like I would let that baboon hurt a lady…”

They both came to a stop.

“I know. Well, I need to go to my apartment. After all, my roommate is waiting for me. I’ll see you around, Mr. Cook, it was nice to have finally met you.”

“Of course! I’ll see you soon as well, Robin!”

Sanji saw her leave, and headed to his own room.

Once inside, he took out the clothes and everything they bought. Zoro wasn’t there, probably out with the guys getting wasted and flirting with chicks.

 _‘Seriously, of all of his friends, why was he the only one unfortunate enough with the opposite sex? Zoro could get anyone he wanted with just a wicked smile, Ace has all women melting with his bad boy’s attitude, Marco’s easygoing personality draws women in, Franky, despite his wardrobe, is the most confident guy he knows and women like that, Usopp has Kaya, his high school sweetheart, fuck, even Luffy has the gorgeous Boa after him…Stop! Stop thinking. Tomorrow, tomorrow his luck will change, he has a good feeling about it._ _Ladies, beware! Your prince is on his way!’_

 

**Proofread and edited by Coco42**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_ **

**_Don't own One Piece_ **

Zoro woke up in Franky’s room with everyone else. He was face down on the floor next to Ace who was snoring pretty loudly next to his ear.

Yesterday they all agreed to leave the cook in Robin’s hands but for whatever reason, the cook never showed up and they got bored and all started drinking and smoking until they apparently passed out.

“Uggh…what time is it?” Marco asked waking up and trying to untangle himself from Luffy. The little bastard was like an octopus.

“Who cares…shut up.”  Ace said lazily, going back to sleep.

Marco got up looking for his cellphone. After a few minutes he was able to find it inside a Doritos bag. “It’s 8:45 am.”

Like a bucket full of cold water had been thrown at them, they all jumped at once. “What?!”

“I am so going to be late!”

“You?!What about me, I have a fucking test!” Zoro took his jacket and ran as fast as he could to his dorm room. He opened his door, noticing that the cook was missing for a minute, then proceeded to change his t-shirt, he quickly brushed his teeth and he left in a heartbeat. He will deal with the fucking cook later, it’s his entire fault after all.

**_Later on…_ **

Sanji stood in front of the cooking room’s door. He was freaking out, ok?!

He got up and chose one of Robin’s outfits for himself a blue V-neck shirt, black pants and black boots and now he was standing in front of the door, 10 minutes late just because he wasn’t sure how people will react to his new look. He was 100% sure that as soon as he walks through that door, the old man would say something shitty about his new look, because he likes to make his life a living hell, and everyone would laugh at him.

“Aaaagh…fuck my life.” He placed his forehead against the door.

“What are you waiting for?” another person asked behind him, making Sanji jump and turn around to be face to face with…

“R-Robin?”

Said woman smiled at him. “I had a feeling that you would be having second thoughts and that you would need moral support.”

“Well, I am…a bit. Not that you didn’t do a marvelous job, my beautiful princess, it’s just…well…”

“Sanji, you have nothing to worry about, trust me.” With that, Robin waited for no reply from Sanji and instead, she knocked on the door and left.

_‘Robin! How could you?’_

A few seconds later, inside the room, Zeff yelled at whoever was at the door to get their fucking ass inside, followed by some insults and how rude it was to interrupt his class.

Sanji entered the class without conviction.

What followed after that was, well…not what he was expecting. All of Zeff’s students stared at him, some with curiosity. He saw a few girls blush, _blush_ …at him! And some others asking who he was…

Zeff just stared at him, not saying anything at first but after a few very awkward minutes, he spoke to him. “Hah! About time you got rid of that fucking beard, eggplant. Now, sit your fucking ass down and don’t ever interrupt me again, boy.”

After that, an explosion of comments could be heard across the room. “Is he really Sanji?” “I couldn’t recognize him at all.” and to his surprise, some girls _and boys_? were saying that he looks hot.

Sanji was so focused on trying not to blush too much to think of a comeback to the shitty old geezer, so he just sat. Well, at least no one was laughing so far.

**_Later on…_ **

Zoro was feeling better now after kicking the asses of all his classmates, and passing the test of course, when he received a message from Ace.

**_‘Have you seen Sanji? What did he look like? Where are you guys? We’re at the usual spot.’_ **

**_‘NO…I DON’T KNOW…I’M AT THE GYM…I’LL FIND HIM AND GET THERE IN A BIT, K?’_ **

Now that Zoro thought about it, Sanji wasn’t at their room in the morning and hasn’t seen him all day. And so, Zoro dialed Sanji’s number.

_“Yeah, Marimo?”_

_“Where are you?”_

_“At the cooking classroom, why?”_

_“Why?_ Why _? You fucker, we waited for you and you never showed up and I almost missed a test! Where were you this morning?”_

_“How is that my fault, you idiot?! You’re the one who probably got wasted there! Oh, you did, huh?”_

_“Shut up! Anyway…I’m coming over, wait for me.”_

Zoro walked faster after hanging up. He’s so going to kick his ass, making them wait for him and never showing up, really? And why wasn’t he at their room this morning, was he with Robin? Zoro stopped.

_‘What if he was?’_

Anyway, why would he care? It’s not his business who Sanji fucks or doesn’t fuck. Besides, there’s no way Sanji would do that to a lady, he was a gentleman after all, right? Zoro’s thoughts were getting him angrier by the minute, he had no idea why but he didn’t like it one bit.

Zoro ran and spotted Sanji’s classroom, slamming the door open. He needed to ask Sanji if he was actually with Robin. He desperately needed to know for some reason.

“Cook!” he yelled.

“Hey, why are you screaming?!”

Zoro looked at the blond man yelling at him. Strong legs that ran for miles trapped in black skinny jeans, a blue v-neck shirt wrapping around a nice set of muscles, this man is more of the athletic type, lean and defined, Zoro was not complaining about that at all. Silky messy blond hair, deep blue eyes, curly brows…wait, _curly brows_?!

“S-Sanji?”

“W-Who else, you idiot?” Sanji was nervous, if there was an opinion that mattered the most to him, it’s the one from Zeff, even though he would never admit that to anyone, and Zoro’s, even though he would never admit to that one either. And right now, he had no idea, if the look that Zoro was giving him was one of approval or not. “Well, what do you say? Good use of the money you gave us or not, idiot?”

Zoro wanted to reply, he really did. But, Sanji looked like a completely different person and it was shocking. It’s been a long time since he was able to see the cook’s full face, the unique color of his eyes without those fucking glasses, him in clothes that actually fit him…he looked…he looked…

“Fucking hot.”

Zoro saw Sanji blush after his statement and he quickly added,“I mean, for a skinny ass like you that is. Now, you look like a human, Chewbacca.” and that did it.

“Eat shit, Mosshead!”Sanji proceeded to decorate the cake he was making, breaking eye contact with Zoro.

 _‘Nice save.’_ Zoro thought.

He got a little closer to the cook, watching him work. He couldn’t believe that the man standing in front of him was his Sanji...well, not his. _His_ Sanji, he meant his friend Sanji.

Zoro stood next to Sanji, and without being able to avoid it, he smelled him, discreetly of course. He still smelled like the Sanji he knows, a bit of his strawberry shampoo, which Zoro had made fun of him for in the past and still does, a bit of cinnamon and some kind of cologne, he guessed it was something he and Robin had bought yesterday.

“That Robin girl works miracles.”  Zoro teased.

“Fuck you!”

 _‘Oh, it would be my pleasure…wait, what? Oh, no,no,no,no, I can’t think like this about Sanji! What’s wrong with me? Sure he’s hot as hell and being someone he can relate to is a plus but the whole point of this makeover was for him to find a woman, a_ woman _, not to be in bed, making love to him._ Wait _, making love?!’_

Zoro doesn’t make love, he fucks and he fucks with people he doesn’t care about nor have the need to remember their name the next day. That thought right there, makes him and the cook opposites when it came to relationships and for some reason, he felt uneasy.

“All done!” Sanji turned to look down at Zoro who looked conflicted all of a sudden _._ “Marimo, are you ok?”

“Y-Yeah, yeah.”

“Well, then, quit it, I need to store the cake for Zeff’s birthday in a safe place and I guess we need to see the guys if all of Ace’s calls has something to do with it.”

Zoro stood up and followed behind Sanji, clearing his head of whatever weird thoughts he may have about his friend and his friend’s amazing perky ass…

_‘Oh shit…I’m fucked aren’t I?’_

**__________________ **

Proofread and edited by Coco42


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Don’t own One Piece**

“No. Fucking. Way!” Ace exclaimed, as everyone else nodded their heads in agreement.

“Sanji…you look like a completely different person!”

“Shame that there’s nothing that Robin chick could do about your eyebrows.”

“Fuck off, Marimo!”

“Sanji, I want meat!”

Well, on the bright side, his friends seemed to approve of how he looked now and it’s kind of nice to receive compliments instead of stares for a change.

“I am seriously questioning my sexuality…” Ace said, looking Sanji up and down.

Ok, maybe not so much. “Shut up, I don’t want to hear that!” the blond yelled.

“Ace…do you know how I know that you’re gay? You find other men attractive…”

“Not _men_ … _Sanji_!”

“How does that improve your argument? Unless, you’re saying that Sanji isn’t…”

“Ok, enough!” Law interrupted. “So it’s safe to say that Robin-ya did a great job, now what?”

“Bow chicka wow wow…”

“Thanks for the contribution, Franky-ya…” Law said sarcastically. He is surrounded by idiots.

“Well, now we’re going out to find Sanji a girl!”

“And how are we gonna do that?” Zoro asked.

“Baby steps, you know…first, he has to learn how to do all the talking, then the flirting and so on…”

“Ok, so first step: talking to a girl, who’s it going to be?”

“Ok, ok. So, we all know that I don’t give a shit about what a girl is saying, _but_ I _am_ a master at faking interest when I’m with one, so I think I can help him there…what to say, what not to say, what to ask…”

“Ok, so Ace will help him first…oh! There’s a nice coffee place, where you two can go, it’s nice and quiet and perfect to start a conversation without pressure, how about it, Sanji?” Usopp asked.

Sanji was getting nervous by the minute. He is terrible at this; he can’t talk to a woman for less than a minute without bringing up something stupid or embarrassing himself, but he needs to try at least once. “Sure…” the blond man said, not convinced that this would work.

Zoro looked at him, he could tell that the cook was not comfortable with the situation, but how else is he going to learn to talk to a woman without actually talking to one? There’s no way. This is it. And Zoro doesn’t like it. Shit, he thought he was past that.

“I’ll come with you guys if that’s ok.” Marco said.

“Yeah” Ace nodded. “So, let’s go!” The three men headed to the coffee shop as Zoro watched them leave.

Luffy stood next to him. “Don’t worry, Zoro. Ace and Marco know what they’re doing.”

Zoro just shook his head.

**_At the coffee shop…_ **

“How about her?” Sanji asked, discreetly pointing to the woman at the far end of the shop.

“She is _hot_ …so no.” Ace said.

“What?! Why not?!”

“Because, Sanji…you are learning, my naïve sexy padawan…” Ace said, grinning mischievously.

“Easy there, Ace. You’re teaching him how to flirt, _not_ how to be on the receiving end…”

“You’re killing me, Marco. Why did you come here again?”

“Why? Well, obviously to support our mutual friend, of course, and now, it seems to protect his chastity from you.”

Ace hummed. “Anyway. Sanji, you need to start with a five-six tops, then you can climb your way up to an eight or nine and who knows, maybe someday you’ll score with a 10.”

“Ace, what the hell are you talking about?” Sanji was as confused as the time he caught Zeff with someone. It was also traumatic. For some reason, he was never able to picture Zeff with someone else, and even now, he wasn’t sure what they were trying to do in that weird position and he was never going to ask.

“Scores…girl’s scores, of course.” Ace explained.

“Unbelievable…”

How are girls running to Ace and not him?

“How about that girl over there? Next to the window?” Marco asked.

Both Sanji and Ace turned to look at the girl. She was petite and had short orange hair and nice face.

“Yeah, she’ll do.”

Sanji wasn’t going to lie; she might be small, but she looked intimidating. He gulped. “H-Her?”

“Her.” affirmed Ace. “Now, go, go! Remember, just start with the basics, introduce yourself and just keep asking questions about her; girls love to talk about themselves.”

Sanji took a deep breath and stood up.

Both his friends watched him get closer to the orange haired girl.

“Stop staring at his ass, Ace. You’re creeping me out!” Marco hissed.

“Whatever…” Ace looked at Marco, who was watching Sanji attentively. “You’re just here to watch the show, aren’t you?”

“Who would miss this? It’s gonna be hilarious.” Marco wanted to help his friend and watch him be happy, of course he does; but who said he couldn’t have some fun along the way?

**_Other side of the coffee shop…_ **

“Hello, I’m Sanji. Nice to meet you, lovely lady…no, hi, it’s your lucky day...no, no,no…” Sanji had no idea what he would say once he gets to her and now he found himself in front of her aaaaand she was looking at him.

_‘Say something, you idiot!’_ “H-Hi, it’s a lovely day, isn’t it?” _‘Dork…’_

The girl looked at him intently, she seemed annoyed. “A lovely day for what?”

“F-For w-what? I mean, look at the sun…and the blue sky…I…what?” He annoyed her already? This must be a new personal record. Sanji was about to apologize and go away with his tail between his legs when suddenly the girl started laughing.  Sanji just stood there frozen.

“I-I’m so sorry.” She said between laughs. “Sorry for being so mean, I just thought you would come up with some lame pick up line…”

Sanji laughed nervously because that was his plan.

“Sit!” She demanded and Sanji complied.

“‘Sanji’, you said, right? I’m Koala…never seen you before.”

Sanji blushed a little. “I…yeah, me neither. Are you a student, my dear?”

“Yes, first year.”

_‘Ok, so this is going good so far. Just keep it together.’_

“I came here with my fiancé who’s also studying here.” She added.

Aaand now, not so much. Figures, he managed to talk to a woman and she was going to get married. Well, perhaps he could get to be this magnificent angel’s friend and be by her side.

“Oh, really? What are you studying?” _‘Oh, she smells divine…lucky bastard. Whoever you are, you better treat her right.’_

“I’m studying to be a veterinarian.”

“Really? I want to be a…”

“FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!”

Both Sanji and Koala turned around to the scene going on behind them. There was a woman hitting Ace and insulting him.

“YOU SAID YOU WOULD CALL!”

“I-I lost your number, I swear!” yelled a panicked Ace as he was trying to get away from her. During all that was happening, Marco just looked on, amused.

“Oh, really? What’s my name then?” the angry woman asked.

“U-Uhhhh…I wanna say…Lucy?”

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!” She then proceeded to throw stuff at him, anything she could find. Sanji could swear that at some point, when she was running out of ammo, Marco kept putting things on the table for her to find and throw at their black haired friend.

When Sanji was sure his friend would die right then and there, the manager stopped the woman and asked her and Ace to leave or else he’d call the cops. Marco followed them, not wanting to miss anything. Sanji turned back around slowly.

“Can you believe it? I bet he never intended to call her back, he looked like the kind of guy who plays with women…” Koala said as the manager apologized to all his clients.

“Yeah…”

“Oh! I have to go…it was nice talking to you, Sanji. I’ll see you around!”

“Of course, my darling!”

She stopped to look at him and chuckled. “Bye!”

_‘Never use cute nicknames again. Noted.’_

Sanji was about to go outside and try to find his friends when someone sat next to him. He saw a tall muscular man with flaming red hair looking at him funny.

“Can I help you?” Sanji said, not in the mood to deal with creepy dudes.

“Just wanted to introduce myself…I’m Kid.” the man said, extending his hand for Sanji to shake.

“Sanji…” He replied, shaking his hand. “Is there something you want?”

“Yeah, sugar…you…”

“W-What?” Sanji was dumbfounded.

“How about you and I go to my room so I can rock your world?”

Needless to say, the manager had to break up yet another fight and apologize to the customers once again, they got kicked out as well, but at least the creepy guy got his ass kicked. He never saw it coming.

**_Later on…_ **

“Fucking asshole…” Sanji muttered to himself.

On the bright side, his first time talking to a lady after his makeover may not have been a success, but it went ok. Sure, it lasted less than five minutes and she was engaged, but that’s still something.

“Hey! Sanji!”

Sanji saw a sulking Ace and Marco waving at him on a bench, and walked up to them.

“Sorry for leaving you alone.” Marco apologized.

“It’s ok…it was actually not so bad…”

“Oh! So, did you ask for her number, are you guys gonna see each other again?”

“She’s engaged…” Sanji stated.

“And?” both Marco and Ace asked at the same time.

“What do you mean ‘and’? She’s gonna be someone else’s wife soon!”

“Soon…not yet…” Ace said.

“Do you want me to hit the other side of your face that doesn’t have bruises?” Sanji threatened his black haired friend.

“NO! N-No…I’m sorry! What are you laughing about, Marco?! It was partly your fault!”

Sanji smiled. “So, what was that about?”

“I slept with her and told her I would call on the weekend…”

“Last weekend?” the cook asked.

“About two months ago…”

“Ugh, why am I not surprised?” Sanji asked, unimpressed.

“Anyway. I’m sorry for being a terrible sensei…but can we call it for today? I can’t feel my face.”

Sanji sighed, relieved. “Sure, let’s go back to my room.”

**_Zoro’s and Sanji’s room…_ **

Zoro and Usopp were playing Resident Evil. Nothing better to clear your head than killing zombies. They heard keys and the door being unlocked. Sanji, Ace and Marco entered the room. Usopp paused the game.

“So, how did it go?” He was curious because Sanji looked ok, Marco had his usual boring face and Ace…“What the hell happened to you?!”

“NOTHING!” Ace immediately shouted before Marco could speak up, because Marco enjoys other’s people suffering. He finds it amusing.

“Ace forgot the name of one of his flings and she beat the shit out of him at the coffee shop.”

“Sanji! You sexy betrayer, WHY?” Ace whined, pitifully draping himself all over the cook.

“GET OFF ME!”

Usopp looked at them and was speechless for a minute.

“So, you didn’t talk to a woman?” Zoro asked, standing up.

“I did! A lovely princess by the name of Koala…Koala, isn’t it cute name? Oh, if only she wasn’t engaged.”

“WHAT?! You guys set him up with a soon-to-be-someone-else’s-wife?!” Usopp yelled.

“How could I know that? And it was fine, it was just for practice.”

Usopp looked at Marco and Ace with a disapproving expression.

“What? Like you could do any better?” Ace challenged.

“As a matter of fact, I think I could!” Usopp realized his mistake too late.

Ace smirked. “Ok, let’s see what you got…take Sanji and help him.”

“Well, I’m actually pretty tired so…” Sanji added to the conversation.

“SHUSH! This is between me and Usopp!”

Usopp thought about it for a second.

“Or are you scared?” Ace teased, knowing the result.

“THE GREAT USOPP IS NEVER AFRAID! You all should know that I, back where I was born, was called THE CAZANOVA of my-”

“Yeah, yeah. Go already.”

“Follow me, Sanji. Follow the great Usopp and I will share my secret for success with the opposite sex! Did I tell you about the time were 300 women fought for me?”

Everyone in the room watched as Sanji followed Usopp, while said man was telling another story/lie. Suddenly, Ace yelled making the others jumped.

“LAURA! Her fucking name was Laura!”

**_Later on…_ **

“Uh, Usopp, not that I don’t trust you or anything, but…why are we hiding in the bushes?”

“Shush! We’re looking for the lucky lady.” the curly haired man whispered, checking their surroundings.

“And what? Jump her bones, tackle and kidnap her?”

“What? No! We need to locate the target first.”

“What are you two doing?” someone asked behind them.

“Kyaaaaaa!” Usopp screamed in a high pitch. Making Sanji and the other person cover their ears.

“Usopp, what the hell was that?” Sanji shouted, uncovering his ears.

“Oh…well this is embarrassing.”

“I’ll say…” the other person replied.

Sanji looked at said person and it turned out to be a beautiful woman! A smoking hot woman at that!

“Who are you?” Usopp asked.

_‘Future Ms. Blackleg, that’s who.’_

“Jewelry Bonney, I actually share the engineering class with you.”

Now Usopp remembered. “You’re the one always eating in class and being yelled at for it!”

“That’s me!” She looked proud of it for some reason. “I was sleeping here when you guys came along, what are you doing anyway?” She asked, eating a sandwich, where did she get it?

“Ah, you see, I’m helping my friend here-” Usopp began.

“-look for new ingredients for a recipe, my love.” Sanji said, covering Usopp’s mouth with his hand while the other struggled to get free.

“Oh, you cook?! That’s awesome! If I help you guys, can I eat some of whatever it is that you’re cooking?”

“Of course, my angel!”

“Yes! So, what are we looking for?”

“Uhh…mushrooms?”

“Mushrooms? Ok! Let’s begin, but we aren’t gonna to find any here, we need to go to the forest a couple miles away. Follow me! I have a ride!”

“Sanji, I don’t wanna go with her. She’s crazy! I’ve heard rumors.” Usopp whispered.

“Never talk bad about a lady behind her back, it’s rude! Besides, I need you to be my wingman, I can’t do this without you, and you’re supposed to teach me, aren’t you?”

Usopp sighed. “Yeah…”

“What are you guys waiting for?” Bonney yelled from a distance.

“Coming!”

**_Later on…_ **

“Success!” Bonney yelled. They were able to pick a lot of mushrooms and they were big ones. “Hey, Sanji. What are you gonna make?”

“I thought about making crab-stuffed mushrooms, my darling. These ones are perfect!”

“That sounds great, and we have a lot. Perhaps, we could invite the guys as well?” Usopp said, looking at the gigantic mushrooms.

“Sure. I don’t know if this refined dish should be wasted in those cavemen, especially the marimo…but sure…”

“Don’t say that. You know, Zoro eats anything you make and he loves it.” Usopp said.

Suddenly, Bonney stepped on the brake and stopped the car at the neighborhood close to the campus.

“What’s wrong?” the liar asked.

“Did you say Zoro? As in Roronoa Zoro?” She asked the both of them.

“Uhh…yeah?” Sanji said this time.

“Get out…” the pink haired woman whispered.

“W-What?” Ussop was terrified, Bonney looked pretty upset.

“I said, ‘GET OUT’!”

“Here?” Sanji and Usopp asked, looking outside. It’s not a nice neighborhood, it was getting dark and they spotted two black men talking between each other and looking at them.

“I don’t know, Sanji…”

“We’re fucked…”

Bonney followed their stares, spotting the two men outside to her left as well.

Bonney glared at Sanji and Usopp. “I said, ‘get out’! I don’t care if this is a bad neighborhood or if you get robbed, you should have thought about it before tricking girls into sleeping with you guys! You’re all the same!”

Bonney pretty much kicked their asses out. “Tell your friend Zoro that I’ll make him pay!” All they could hear was the screeching of the wheels as she sped off.

“Told you she was crazy.”

“I’m going to kick the marimo’s ass for this…”

“Hey!” Usopp and Sanji froze in place. One of the black men was talking to them.

_‘If they’re looking for a fight, that’s what they’re gonna get_. Sanji thought, turning around getting ready to land some kicks.

“No! Sanji, wait, you’re gonna get us killed. Leave it to me…I can handle this.” Usopp said.

Sanji nodded.

The black man who spoke to them before got closer, standing in front of them. “Are you guys lost?”

“Fo’ shizzle ma nizzle.” Usopp said, striking weird poses. The man stared at him.

“What are you doing?!” Sanji hissed, alarmed, behind Usopp.

“I got this, relax…” Usopp said.

The man spoke again. “Uhh, ok. Me and my friend here saw that woman ditching you guys. That sucks. There’s a bus stop a couple blocks from here and it leaves in a few minutes. We can show you the way if you want.”

Sanji sighed in relief. “Yes, thank you.”

“No problem.” the man said. He explained how to get to the bus stop and where to wait.

“You good?” the man asked.

“Word.” Usopp said. 

Sanji looked at his friend and shook his head. “Yes, we’re good.”

“Thanks for your help, my man!” Usopp yelled to the other two men from afar as they were walking away.

**_Later on…_ **

They arrived at the bus stop, or so they thought, and they waited. After twenty minutes of nothing, they started to get impatient.

“We are never going to get out of here.” the curly haired man complained.

“Hmm, there seems to be a store over there, maybe I could ask them about the bus schedules. Wait here…” Sanji left Usopp, not waiting for a reply.

“W-Wait! Sanji, don’t leave me here…alone…in this place...”

Usopp was shaking. He jumped at the sound of what seemed to be…gunshots? He is so going to die here. Maybe he should go with Sanji?

“Yo, man!” Someone yelled at him. It was a pretty scary dude and three other dudes.

“Y-Yeah?” Usopp was about to shit his pants. _‘Sanji, where the hell are you?’_

“Those are some nice shoes you got there, can I see them?”

_‘Ok, stay calm. Just…go with the flow.’_ “Sure! My brother from another mother!”

“What did you just say?” the other man said angrily. “I’m not your brother, homie!”

“Uhm, how about ‘cousin from another aunt?’”

“Are you playing stupid? Give me your shoes now or I’ll bust your ass!”

“I-I, well…you see, I think I’m just going to…RUN!” Usopp cried, stepping back and running like hell. He started yelling as soon as he noticed the other men following him.

In front of him, he noticed Sanji coming out of the store.

“Oh! Usopp, we need to wait for five more…” the blond man said once he noticed his friend.

“RUN!!!” Usopp shouted, as he kept running in the opposite direction of the bus stop.

Sanji saw some men going after his friend. _‘Shit…’_

Now, some pretty bad company was chasing them in a bad neighborhood. And no, they didn’t get on the bus so now they were following the road. They needed to walk to get to the campus’ entrance.

“Why you didn’t give them the shoes?”

“They were a present from Kaya.”

“I can’t believe we almost got our asses kicked over a pair of shoes.”

“I’m sorry…”

They walked in silence after that.

**_At the campus…_ **

What a stressful day. Sanji was so tired, all he wanted was to sleep but he couldn’t, he must go to Zeff’s birthday party, he took out his cellphone and dialed Zoro’s number.

“Yo!” Zoro answered.

“Are you coming with me to Zeff’s or not?”

“And miss all the booze and food, yeah right. Where are you? I’m hungry, hurry up!”

“I’m getting there, Marimo! Jeez…”

Sanji hung up. His feet were killing him but he needs to bath again, no way he is going all sweaty to the party after running so much, get dressed, take the cake he made and oh shit! Zeff’s birthday gift! He totally forgot! The party starts in one hour, no way he was going to make it! He could buy it tomorrow.

Great! Now he has to hear Zeff complain about having a shitty eggplant that doesn’t care about him…ugh.

Sanji arrived at his room; Zoro was there on the bed.

“Finally…we’re gonna miss all the booze, cook…” Zoro said.

“Shut up! You have no idea what I just went through.”

“So, I take it that Usopp fucked up as well?”

Sanji sighed. “Yeah…” Sanji sat on his bed and began to remove his shoes. “Is it always this difficult?”

“Not for me…”

“Asshole…” Sanji took some new clothes and headed to the bathroom. “By the way, do you know some girl named Bonney?”

“You’ll have to be more specific, cook. I can’t even remember the name of this girl I met yesterday.”

“Ugh, she’s hot, tall, has pink hair, some piercings?”

Zoro thought for a moment. “Not ringing a bell, no. Why do you ask?”

“Well, _she_ said to tell you, that you would pay for what you did. _She_ left us in the middle of a bad neighborhood thanks to you and drove away and _she_ took the mushrooms with her now that I recall.”

“Pay? Bad neighborhood…mushrooms? What the hell were you three up to?”

“Just answer the question…what the hell did you do this time?” _‘Dammit, Zoro.’_

“I don’t even know her! At least I don’t think I do…” Zoro said, sitting on the bed.

“Well, she seemed to know you all too well…and she looked serious.”

“Whatever, she can try. Go get ready, already! You take forever and who knows how long it’ll take for you to put on your makeup!”

“Shitty plant! I’m going, I’m going!”

Sanji slammed the door closed.

**_Later on…_ **

“You didn’t buy anything?”

“I just told you, I was going to, but then you guys made me go out with Usopp and well, you know the rest…”

Zoro hummed in acknowledgement. “You made this cake for him, though.”

“Yeah…but still.”

They stayed in silence for a while.

“It _does_ get easier…”

“Huh?” Sanji looked at Zoro who was looking at the dark sky.

“Talking to women, it gets easier. Soon, you’ll find someone who cares about you and accepts you for who you are, flaws and all. You both will fall in love, get married, have cute kids that’ll inherit your stupid eyebrows…”

“Hey!”

“…and they will have kids of their own, you’ll be a grandparent and realize how happy you are…next to the woman of your dreams and your whole family.”

Sanji stared at his friend. “It’s that what _you_ want?”

“It’s not for me…”

“Maybe someday you’ll find the right girl and then-”

“I won’t.”

“You’re so fucking stubborn, Marimo! Every fucking girl you’re with wants that with you!”

“Whatever. We’re here.”

Sanji paid attention to where they were. They arrived quickly at the Baritie. Sanji wanted to keep talking to Zoro. He never knew his friend wanted something like that with someone. He seemed so content and ok with just fooling around, running away from something serious.

But Zoro stepped inside before he could say anything else.

**_Inside the Baratie…_ **

It was a bit blurry and yes, the cook was tipsy. Zeff and the others could drink barrels without passing out as well as Zoro; he is the only one who couldn’t hold his liquor.

At some point, they all began to sing and dragged Sanji with them. He knew they were making fools of themselves, but so what, everyone was having fun and looked happy.

Everyone was drunk and happy except Zoro.

Zoro sat in a corner while drinking beer and watching everyone else have a good time, especially Sanji. He knows that he could get caught staring, but he was sure this wouldn’t be the case, everyone was either pretty wasted or not paying attention to him, or so he thought.

“Having fun, boy?”

Zoro shrugged. “Yeah…are you?”

“I am, punk.” the other man said placing a chair next to Zoro to sit.

Both heard some guys cheering and laughing. Zeff and Zoro noticed Sanji drinking shots with Patty, one of Zeff’s employees.

“That boy…he’s going to get wasted at this rate.” Zeff said.

Zoro chuckled. He enjoys a drunk Sanji; it’s way too funny to see Sanji singing and talking about stupid things that made no sense.

Zeff stared at Zoro. “I don’t know why you just don’t say it to him.”

Zoro glared at Zeff. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you dare give me that look, boy, or I’ll kick your ass till next Sunday. You know damn well what I’m talking about; you’ve liked my adopted idiot son since you were kids.”

“With all due respect, Sir. It’s none of your business…”

Sanji’s adopting father took a drink of his beverage. “You’re right, it isn’t, but sleeping around with random people is not the answer, either. Like it or not, I’ve known you almost as much as my little eggplant and I consider you as a son, boy. I just don’t want you making bad decisions or hurting yourself that’s all…” Zeff drank his drink in one gulp and finally stood up. “Take care of yourself and the idiot, will ya?”

“Zeff?”

The old man stopped and looked back at Zoro. “Hmm?”

“Thanks…for caring, I mean…”

Zeff chuckled. “Any time, kid. Now get your ass up and enjoy _my_ fucking party or you’re going to regret having been born.”

Zoro chuckled. “Yes, Sir.”

Zoro then noticed Sanji sitting on a chair and laughing like an idiot at something on the table, he approached his best friend. “What the hell are you doing, stupid cook?”

“Oh, Zhoro! Look at this t-tiny ant, tryin’a carry this pretzel, so shtupid!”

_‘Yep, already drunk.’_ Zoro sat next to him. “You’re an idiot…”

Sanji looked at him offended. “H-Hey! W-Who are you c-calling an idiot, M-Marimo?!” Sanji placed his head on the table.

Zoro groaned. Sanji was trying not to fall asleep but wasn’t doing a great job at it.  The green haired man stared at him for a moment then placed a hand on Sanji’s head and caressed Sanji’s silky hair. 

Zeff made it sound so simple to tell Sanji how he feels but how could he? Sanji has been obsessed with girls since they were little. He always talked about meeting the right one, taking care of her and giving her everything she wanted and needed. He talked for hours about having a family with at least three kids. Zoro remembered all those magazines with women in them that Sanji kept away from Zeff and him going crazy over any female classmate in high school, and now, college. Sanji. Doesn’t. Like. Men. It’s as simple as that.

To Zoro, the sex of his partner was never a matter of discussion. He likes who he likes and ever since a young age, he was very well aware that he wanted something more with Sanji. But that wasn’t possible. Sanji saw him as his best friend and nothing more. That’s why he started to sleep with people…women, to be more specific. He thought he could get over Sanji and perhaps find someone he could settle with. Sure, it wouldn’t be as great as being with his best friend, but it would be something. He tried and failed.

Zoro wanted to get some distance between them, but the first time Zoro said that he would be going to another college, not to the same one as they had planned, Sanji yelled at him and got angry for breaking a promise they made since they were little, to always be together, no matter what. Zoro hated seeing the cook upset so, in the end, he said that he wasn’t going anywhere, he said that he could endure it with more training, what wishful thinking.

“Z-Zoro?” the half-sleep blond man called out.

“Hmmm?”

“I love you, shitface…” he said before he fell asleep again.

Zoro’s chest hurt. “I love you too…you have no idea…”

From a distance, the older chef watched the two of them. “What a pair of idiots…”

Proofread and edited by Coco42


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